Five Essential Life Skills You Should Know

Adaptive behaviors are age-dependent skills that allow us to engage successfully in activities of daily living throughout our lives. We can also think of adaptive behaviors as skills that allow us to be flexible when change occurs in our personal lives or careers. Consider these five life skills for dealing constructively with changing circumstances in daily living.

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Stop and think to avoid misinterpretations. Give yourself time to analyze situations thoroughly. View actions and circumstances from different angles and perspectives to gain an accurate understanding of what has happened. If people are involved, communicate your concerns and ask questions to get information that might not be apparent. This will allow you to make informed choices.

Think long-term. Ask yourself "What if?" questions. Think about the consequences of dealing with a situation in various ways. Ask, "What will I lose?" and "What will I gain?" "How could this choice affect my family, friends, self, and future well being?"

Prepare for change with continuous learning. Change is a constant in everyone's life. The skills needed to meet various needs will change throughout all stages of life. We will continue to need updated knowledge in such areas as self-care, relationships, parenting, and financial.

Look beneath the surface. Welcome challenges. Every challenging situation brings the chance to grow wiser and more skillful. Somewhere, someone has successfully dealt with the same situation. Even circumstances that seem most devastating carry within them the seed of a new blessing. Those who search for these blessings will eventually find them.

Become clear on your values. the principles that guide your actions. Then look at your needs: those things that must be met in ways that remain true to your values. Ask yourself this question: "Is my reaction an attempt to meet a personal need in a healthy manner, or is it a creative solution to some other problem?" Then ask, "Is my choice of action in keeping with my core values?"

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How to Get Your Child to School

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Children with school refusal have a very difficult time getting to school and/or staying in school, usually due to some type of anxiety. School refusal can mean that children have trouble going to school – or that they don’t go to school at all. Children who refuse to go to school usually spend the day at home with their parents’ knowledge, even though their parents try really hard to get them to go.

If your child refuses to go to school, you might feel that school mornings are a ‘battle of wills’. Your child might:
>> have crying episodes or tantrums
>> hide under the bed covers
>> refuse to move
>> beg or plead not to go
>> complain of aches, pains and illness before school, which generally get better if you let your child stay at home
>> show high levels of anxiety
>> make threats to self-harm.

Here are some things you can do:

1. Check for physical causes. If your child is complaining of physical symptoms, have her checked by a physician.

2. Talk with your child.  Talk about what's bothering her, while at the same time making it clear that a plan will be made to return to school. Keep in mind, though, that some children can't describe what is bothering them. Don't force conversation if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. The most important message to convey is this: you believe your child can conquer this problem, and you'll be there to help her through it.

3. Don’t lecture. Avoid lengthy discussions and debates about the importance of going to school. Lecturing won't do any good, and it may actually make matters worse. Any attention, even negative attention, can reinforce and maintain a problem.

4 Keep an open mind. Don't assume the teacher or the school has done something wrong. Similarly, teachers should not assume the problem lies with the parents. When stress levels are high, it's natural to want to point the finger and blame someone, but it doesn't do much to solve the problem. It's important to make sure that any reality-based fears, such as bullying, are addressed and corrected.

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Quick Tips on Setting Your Life Goals

If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. Without goals you lack focus and direction. Goal setting not only allows you to take control of your life's direction; it also provides you a benchmark for determining whether you are actually succeeding.

Set goals that would keep you motivated. Ask yourself why your goals are valuable and important to you. You can use this motivating value statement to help you if you start to doubt yourself or lose confidence in your ability to actually make the goal happen.

Set relevant goals. Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you'll develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals, and you'll fritter your time – and your life – away.

Set time-bound goals. Your goals must have a deadline. Again, this means that you know when you can celebrate success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases and achievement will come that much quicker.
  
Frame your goal statement positively. If you want to improve your relationship with your kids say, "I will hold on to our good memories and create more memories by having more trips or play time with them".

Make an action plan. Don't forget to plan all of the steps that are needed along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you'll realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term.

Source: UNSPLASH

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4 Ways to Establish a Good Relationship with Your Adolescent Child

Adolescence is the period between 13 to 19 years. It can also be considered as a transitional period from childhood to Adulthood. It is a period of physical and psychological development from puberty to maturity. During this period, male children seem to be a bit difficult to deal with as a result of which many parents loose interest in them and ultimately loose intimate relationship with their sons. The following are some of the things you need to do to bring your adolescent son close to you:

Create interaction. When you find your son being difficult and unreasonable, book an appointment with him, let's say to a Football Pitch. I know he will like such place. Advice him like a parent and talk to him like a friend. Let him know that he will eventually be a parent, will he be happy if his children behave the way he is doing. Tell him that his behavior is not acceptable to you and the family and make him promise you to be a good person from now on.

Act like a real adult. Remember that he is still a child and you are the grown up. Make sure you have what it takes to solve his problems. When you give orders and he tries to disagree with you, do not engage in argument with him; rather device a way to make him abide by your rules. It is true that he has his own rights and privileges, do not allow your son to look down on you. So you need to show good examples and try to do what you say. Be in charge of your house, do not be a push over and spell out the punishment for those who flout your orders. Let him understand that you are not being wicked but trying to make him a better person. You will be surprised he will start loving your life style and copying it. He will hold you in high esteem as a disciplined parent.

Let him make his own decisions. Inasmuch as you make him obey your rules, he still need some gap to make decisions for his life. Give him chance to choose his friends, his career, hobbies and any other thing that is personal to him. You will only need to advice him on the implications of wrong decisions and guide him accordingly. Also take interest in what he likes. When you are satisfied with his behaviour, tell him he is doing fine and should keep it up, reward him if you can.

Respond. Don't react. By the time he starts coming close to you, he will open up to you to the extent of giving you information about his friends. If he tells you that his friend smokes secretly, do not react immediately by rebuking him of having bad friends, because if you do he will stop telling you about himself and his friends. Instead ask him what he feels about a teenager smoking. This will help you to know his opinion about smoking. If he defends his friend, you should tell him the dangers of smoking and how people view those who smoke. If he is against his friend's attitude, tell him is about time he look for better friends who will help him to achieve his aims in life. This way, you are building a better relationship with your son and he will love you for that.

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Five Steps to a Successful Meditation

The basic tenets of meditation — relaxation and breathing — can be difficult to master in our hectic lives, but if you're able to find just a few minutes a day, that's all you need to get started. The benefits of meditation include stress reduction, sharpened concentration, and improved circulation to start. Once you begin to practice, you'll soon experience a quieter mind, a more open heart, and a sense of inner freedom.

Be comfortable in a quiet place. Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. To get started, it doesn't matter whether you sit or lay down as long as you are comfortable. You can sit cross-legged, on the floor, or on a chair. If you can sit erect, then great. If not, it's just important to have your body in a somewhat stable position. Then have the palms of your hands face the sky.

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Become "present." Become totally aware of your current surroundings. What do you hear? How does it feel to sit? Do you feel tension? Where are your thoughts?

Focus on your breath. As you take long and deep breaths, feel your breath move from your lungs and out through your nostrils or your throat. (Breathing through your nostrils is better though either will work). Your mind will wonder (which is okay), just try your best to be as focused as possible.

Feel your body. Once you're focused, take notice of your body and how each body part feels. Start with the toes and work your way up to your head. If your mind continues to wonder then bring your thoughts back to your breath. Breath 5 to 10 times with full concentration on each breath. Take it a step further and hum "Om" as you breathe out.

Practice! Like anything, practice makes perfect. Make sure to carve out a time each and every day to practice. You'll hopefully find all your practice totally worth it as meditation can be life-changing!

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Four Best Practices for a Happier Life This 2018

Are you looking forward to having a happier home this 2018? Well, this is not impossible to achieve. You just need to make some mini moves - not resolutions - that will make your life easier this year. Read up!

Take Control of Your Tech - From constantly checking email to the endless buzz of a new Facebook notification, our tech devices can easily control our lives. Instead, make 2018 the year where you take control of your tech. For an easy way to start, resolve to stop using your phone as your alarm clock. Studies have found that the blue light emitted from electronics can have a negative effect on sleep, and that keeping your phone next to your bed makes you more likely to check your phone within just five minutes of waking up. Rather than encourage your family’s tech dependence, try setting up a charging station in the living room or kitchen. This attractive bamboo charging dock will keep phones and tablets out of the bedrooms, and in a spot where you can easily find them.

Carve Out a Space for Yourself - If it’s nearly impossible to find a space that’s just for you inside your own home, make this the year you claim a spot. Find an area to devote to your favorite hobby, and you’ll be more inclined to spend time doing what you love. Even if you can’t dedicate an entire room to your yoga practice, claim one corner of your family room for your mat, blocks, and soothing music. If the mat’s hiding in the closet, you’ll forget to take it out, but when it’s there waiting for you when you get home from work, you may just find 15 minutes for yourself. If you want to read more, create your own reading nook out of your most comfortable armchair and a small side table. Want to play guitar more often? Get a wall hook to hang the instrument where you’ll see it every day. You’re more likely to pick it up, even if it’s just for five minutes, when it’s stored out in the open.

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Cut Down on Chemicals - If you’re still using cleaning sprays that are loaded with chemicals, try replacing some of the store-bought sprays with homemade solutions. We’ve developed and tested 10 all-natural recipes that can be used to scrub every single inch of your home—and the ingredients are likely already in your kitchen. For a versatile disinfecting spray that can be used on most surfaces, combine equal parts white vinegar and vodka, add lavender and lemon essential oils, then dilute with water, says Becky Rapinchuk of Clean Mama. Each of these recipes takes less than a minute to mix up, and you’ll never have to worry about breathing in harmful fumes or wiping your countertop with chemicals.

Sync Up Your Family’s Schedules - Between piano practice, after-school clubs, and business dinners, coordinating everyone’s schedules can feel like a full-time job. Instead of doing it all yourself, let your family sync their own schedules—both in real life and virtually. In the entryway or kitchen, set up a shared calendar where each family member can add their own events. On the way out the door, it’s easy to spot what time basketball practice is that afternoon. And when your day gets busy and you can’t recall the start time, that’s where Cozi comes in. This free family organizer app lets multiple family members share one master calendar. You can set up reminders, appointments, family dinners, and even shared shopping lists, helping your family stay in sync even on busy days.

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