4 Ways to Establish a Good Relationship with Your Adolescent Child

Adolescence is the period between 13 to 19 years. It can also be considered as a transitional period from childhood to Adulthood. It is a period of physical and psychological development from puberty to maturity. During this period, male children seem to be a bit difficult to deal with as a result of which many parents loose interest in them and ultimately loose intimate relationship with their sons. The following are some of the things you need to do to bring your adolescent son close to you:

Create interaction. When you find your son being difficult and unreasonable, book an appointment with him, let's say to a Football Pitch. I know he will like such place. Advice him like a parent and talk to him like a friend. Let him know that he will eventually be a parent, will he be happy if his children behave the way he is doing. Tell him that his behavior is not acceptable to you and the family and make him promise you to be a good person from now on.

Act like a real adult. Remember that he is still a child and you are the grown up. Make sure you have what it takes to solve his problems. When you give orders and he tries to disagree with you, do not engage in argument with him; rather device a way to make him abide by your rules. It is true that he has his own rights and privileges, do not allow your son to look down on you. So you need to show good examples and try to do what you say. Be in charge of your house, do not be a push over and spell out the punishment for those who flout your orders. Let him understand that you are not being wicked but trying to make him a better person. You will be surprised he will start loving your life style and copying it. He will hold you in high esteem as a disciplined parent.

Let him make his own decisions. Inasmuch as you make him obey your rules, he still need some gap to make decisions for his life. Give him chance to choose his friends, his career, hobbies and any other thing that is personal to him. You will only need to advice him on the implications of wrong decisions and guide him accordingly. Also take interest in what he likes. When you are satisfied with his behaviour, tell him he is doing fine and should keep it up, reward him if you can.

Respond. Don't react. By the time he starts coming close to you, he will open up to you to the extent of giving you information about his friends. If he tells you that his friend smokes secretly, do not react immediately by rebuking him of having bad friends, because if you do he will stop telling you about himself and his friends. Instead ask him what he feels about a teenager smoking. This will help you to know his opinion about smoking. If he defends his friend, you should tell him the dangers of smoking and how people view those who smoke. If he is against his friend's attitude, tell him is about time he look for better friends who will help him to achieve his aims in life. This way, you are building a better relationship with your son and he will love you for that.

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Negative Statements That Hurt Your Child's Feelings

Children feel loved and respected through the words we speak to them. We can hurt their feelings even though it is not our intention. According to child psychologists, there are negative phrases which parents are guilty of saying. Such phrases can affect the way children see themselves and the way they relate with other children or adults.

"Be like your brother or sister." Comparison is a big no in parenting. As a parent, you must understand that children are never born equal or the same. If you're trying to correct a negative behavior in your child, don't compare her to her other siblings. Show her how to behave appropriately by using herself and her present situation as the only point of reference for the correction.

"What's your problem." This statement is a aggressive in nature. When said in a demeaning manner, your child will think right away that she is a trouble maker and nothing good comes out of her. This statement also breeds miscommunication and ill feelings that make children clam up. Instead of saying this, "Is something  bothering you? Tell me. So, I can help you."

"How many times do I have to tell you to this and not to do that." This statement makes a child believe immediately that she's incapable because she needs to be told the same thing over and over. Before getting frustrated and angry, take a deep breath and have a discussion with your child again. Then, tell her to remember everything you've said. This is a good way to put on her shoulders the responsibility to remember your agreements.

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How to Bring Out the Best in Your Children

All moms want to bring out the best in their children. This may seem like a difficult goal to achieve but in reality it's not. You simply need determination and motivation to be focused on your goal on a daily basis.

1. Support and celebrate the success of  your children. Children can succeed in their own little ways. It could be getting the highest quiz score in class or overcoming the fear of riding a bicycle. Children like to be acknowledged. They tend to work harder when they're praised.

2. Focus on your children's strengths. Children have individual strengths. Therefore, you must not compare them with each other. Point out their strengths and give them duties that will enhance those strengths. Sometimes, people don't see their own strengths. This will keep them from thinking negatively about themselves.

3. Listen to your children. Children always look for someone to listen to their stories and to their thoughts. It is best for the listener to be you instead of another person or a stranger for that matter. If you know their thoughts, you can correct any wrong notion which they might have acquired on their own. You will have the opportunity to re-align their minds towards positivity and  reaching their goals.

4. Provide support and encouragement. Do your children enjoy sports or playing musical instrument? If you can't enroll them to sports clinics or music classes, simply support them when they perform during community or school events. Encourage them to practice daily and to their best every time they perform.

5. Teach your children to maximize their potential. Children are much more creative, powerful, and talented than they think. They just need someone to tell them that and teach them how to take chances. As their parent, be their first supporter and adviser towards success. Share to them the things you did on your own in order to succeed when you were younger.

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Raising Responsible Children - Best Insights to Know

Raising responsible children can be very challenging but it is very much achievable. You can start by letting your children understand that you are a team. Tell them that you are all responsible to the team's success. In connection to that, there are a lot of things that they should be responsible about.

1) Create a routine for mornings and evenings. Stick to it. Believe it or not, kids are comforted by routines. It is easier for them to follow an order everyday - from waking up, getting dressed, eating, going to school, playing up to bedtime.

2) Instruct your kids that they need to take care of their belongings. Their clothes and books must be kept in their closets and shelves respectively after each use. They must put away their toys after playing with them.

3) Assign chores to your kids. Make sure that each of your kids gets age-appropriate chores. Also, make sure that they have equal number of tasks to avoid jealousy among them.

4) Schedule family clean ups. Nothing beats the joy of cleaning up the house together. Moreover, you're able to clean more areas of the house when you work together. You can do this every weekend. Before your kids plan to go somewhere else with their friends, oblige them to help you clean the house first. It can last from 30 minutes to an hour.  To make clean ups enjoyable, play some lively music that your kids love.

5) Create a vacation activity list. Sit down with your kids at the start of summer vacation or Christmas vacation. Make a list of the tasks which you want them to achieve during the vacation. Provide instructions on how they must be done. Provide a time frame as well.

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Let Love Be Your Guide in Correcting Your Child's Behaviour

Do you feel like your child's behaviour is uncontrollable? If you do, fret not. Most single parents feel that way. Such feeling springs from the fact that single parent families are much harder to manage than dual parent families. Needless to say, it can be addressed as soon as you come ways to correct your child's behavior. And in doing so, disciplining your child with love and logic is what will work best. Read the following insights that can help you get started on this.

#1 Value your child. An effective mother always treats  her child as a valued and worthwhile person. Always have the intention to build your child's self-esteem through honest praise for doing a job well done. Correct him lovingly and sparingly. Let him learn from his own mistakes instead of instructing him what to do all the time.  Give your child age-appropriate activities that can help him  to be independent.
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#2 Nurture your child. Display your love to your child constantly and consistently. You can do this through positive touch therapy - hugs, kisses, tapping and holding him close. Train him to be a good child by supporting him in everything he does and providing words of encouragement all the time.

#3 Teach your child. Challenge him to grow cognitively, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Be flexible in teaching important academic, scientific and life lessons. Children pick up what their parents do more than what their parents say. Therefore, you must lead a positive life in front of your child's eyes.

#4 Discipline your child. Practice a compassionate, consistent and an honest discipline for your child's well-being. Avoid being quick-tempered, holding grudges or keeping records of wrong. Create rules that are clear and easy for your child to follow. Be gentle and patient in discipline your child and don't forget to provide him moral reasoning.

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Anger 101: Solving Your Children's Heart Issues

Anger is one of the heart issues which children face as they grow up. Anger is a normal emotion that can help children see what is fair and what is not. However, it becomes a destructive emotion when it causes children to act aggressively and uncontrollably. 

Children need the help of their parents and other adults in order to deal with anger in a healthy manner. Anger management can bring many benefits to children and their families. Keen to know how this can be done? Check out the following tips.

Respond to anger correctly – Children simply copy what their parents do. If you respond to anger calmly, your children are most likely to do the same. Talk about your children's anger in a creative way. Use symbolism – an exploding volcano or a dragon breathing fire will do. Also, don't judge your children because of their anger. Explain to them that their anger is what you hate and not them.



Find the causes of children’s anger – Observe how your children react in certain situations.Take note of the things that trigger them to get mad. Give them a gentle pat on their backs as soon as you see signs of anger. The common signs of anger among children include clenched fists, tightness in their bodies, verbal outbursts and hitting out.
 
Encourage them to work on a goal – Make it their goal to avoid being angry. You must explain to them that they can be angry but only at a certain extent. Have a chart on the that gauges the level of anger they feel. Praise them whenever they are able to keep their anger at an acceptable level. Positive words help children deal with anger better.

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Depression in Early Childhood: Know Its Warning Signs

It is a fact that depression can begin in early childhood. Depression comes with warning signs. These symptoms can be observed in your children no matter how young they are.

Preschool children undergoing depression usually exude unexplained shyness and physical criticisms. Moreover, depressed young boys display anger while depressed young girls display sadness.

Young as they are, children aren’t able to express their feelings clearly – especially through words. Their depression may be caused by extreme fear about something or someone. They could express this by clinging tightly on their parents; not going to school or anywhere outdoors; and complaining about physical pain even with the lack of medical cause.

Apart from these, depression among young children may surface in the form of irritability. Medical and psychological experts see irritability as a key warning sign of depression among children. Irritability comes with varied facers – outbursts of anger, moodiness and negative behaviour or inappropriate reactions. When children are irritable, they are less likely to gain pleasure from play and interaction with other children their age. Thus, irritability in your children must be neglected at any rate. 

If you suspect your child of having depression, bring him to a pediatrician right away. A pediatrician is capable of determining any physical illness that causes the depression. Have his mental health checked if he turns out negative of any physical sickness. You will be able to know whether he has a mood disorder or not. Consider all appropriate treatments you can afford if he’s diagnosed to have depression.

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Temper Tantrums and Your Child

Temper tantrums is common among children. Some children may not express them though. It is characterised by screaming, kicking and other forms of uncontrollable behaviour. Children usually throw tantrums in public places.

Children throw tantrums when they can’t control their emotions or when they want to control the situation. Most children are overwhelmed by their emotions. They don’t know what to feel – anger, frustration or sadness. As a result, they scream and display wild behaviour. Moreover, some children throw tantrums in order to get what they want. This happens especially when parents turn down their requests to buy stuff or do something they like at the moment.

Prevention is better than cure – so goes the saying. Thus, the best way to deal with temper tantrums is to prevent it from ever happening. How? Start by observing your child. Is your child most like to lose control when she’s hungry, scared or tired?  If hunger causes your child to throw tantrums, refrain from planning activities that will cause him to skip meals.

Frustrations precede tantrums. In this regard, help your child manage his expectations so that he will not throw tantrums in public. For example, before going to the mall explain to your child that you cannot buy him a toy he might like.

In connection to this, establish firm rules with your child. Tell him that no matter how loud he screams in public you will not give in to what he wants. Moreover, keep him busy with a task while you’re together. This will keep his attention away from tantrum-causing situations.

Finally, teach your child how to manage his feelings. Give real life situations and ask them what to do during those situations. Reward him whenever he’s able to manage his emotions and temper.

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Ways to Build Positive Discipline in Your Home

Behavioral problems are common among kids today. They can be corrected by discipline - positive discipline specifically. Many psychological experts attest to the effectiveness of positive discipline. It comes with four important principles. Learn the following principles today if you want to enforce positive discipline in your home.

Build a healthy relationship - A healthy relationship between you and your children is founded on the quality that you spend together. Make time to know each of your children more. Do happy and positive activities with them. Ask them about their feelings at the moment. All these will help you create positive discipline in your household. 

Provide encouragement all the time - Mistakes are part of life. Instead of uttering words that hurt and scar your children's souls, comfort them with words of encouragement. Guide them to do and know better the next time they get caught in a similar situation.

Solve issues together -  Refrain from practicing authoritarian parenting. Involve your children in solving heart issues and problems happening that concern them. You might be surprised that they can give you better options in handling certain things. 

Do away with punishments - Present positive consequences to your children when you're disciplining them. Guide your children to doing things that will lead to desirable and positive results.  This will get them excited about correcting their behaviour.

By the way, I stumbled upon this video. You might find it helpful and so I'm sharing it.

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Insights on How to Improve Your Parenting Skills

Parenting is tough especially if it is your first time. What makes it tougher is that it comes with no manual. You do it as you go through it. Mistakes are inevitable in parenting but they can always be corrected. Do you want to improve your parenting skills? These tips can help you with that.

Spend quality time with your children and listen to them. Generally, parents never fail to share many hours with their children. But in those many hours that they sit with their kids, parents are unable to share quality time with their kids because they’re doing something else. Listen to your kids’ stories. Actively engage in a game with them. They will open up to you easily this way and you will get a hint on how to parent each of them depending on their personality.

Keep your cool. Don’t lose your control in front of your kids no matter how angry you are. This does not concern only you being angry at their misdeeds. This includes being angry at someone else or over circumstances you’re unable to control. The anger you display when times get tough or when someone becomes annoying implies that it is the right way to react. Your kids will copy just that.

Don’t break your own rules. Sticking by the rules you’ve made is crucial in instilling discipline in your child. Breaking them every now and then will promote irresponsibility.

Display love and affection as often as possible. Kids are most likely to obey parents who make them feel loved. Hug and kiss your kids. Say ‘I love you’ to them. Kids need emotional security more  than gifts, money or toys.

 

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Top Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids

Parenting styles are key in child development. Studies even show that relationships between parents and their children are also affected by parenting styles. Generally, parents discipline their children in four ways. These are known as authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved parenting.

Authoritarian – In this parenting style, the parents set the rules and they simply expect their children to follow. The parents punish their children for dis obedience. In case of obstacles, the parents decide and plan the actions their children must take. This parenting style produce children who have no problems following rules set by the authorities – elders or people in the position. These children are less likely to grow up as law-breaking adults. On the negative side, these children are most likely to grow up as adults with very low self-esteem.

Authoritative – Rules also exist in this parenting style.  But exceptions to the rules are recognised here by both parents and children. Authoritative parents explain the logic behind each rule. They also consider the feelings of their children about each rule. They use consequences – positive ones – in disciplining their children. They also match obedience with praise and rewards. Children raised using this parenting style grow up into adults with good decision-making skills.

Permissive – As the term implies, this parenting style doesn’t involve rules. It lets children do whatever they want. Permissive parents tend to discipline their children only when the latter involve themselves in a serious problem. Permissive parents often want to act as their children’s best friends. Permissive parenting style produce children who have academic and behavioural problems. Consequently, these children grow into irresponsible adults.

Uninvolved – This parenting style simply promote neglect. Apart from not disciplining their children, uninvolved parents don't provide for their basic needs. These parents often leave their children in orphanages and entrust their upbringing to another person's care. Children of uninvolved parents lack happiness, discipline and self-esteem.

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