How to Get Your Child to School

Source: UNSPLASH

Children with school refusal have a very difficult time getting to school and/or staying in school, usually due to some type of anxiety. School refusal can mean that children have trouble going to school – or that they don’t go to school at all. Children who refuse to go to school usually spend the day at home with their parents’ knowledge, even though their parents try really hard to get them to go.

If your child refuses to go to school, you might feel that school mornings are a ‘battle of wills’. Your child might:
>> have crying episodes or tantrums
>> hide under the bed covers
>> refuse to move
>> beg or plead not to go
>> complain of aches, pains and illness before school, which generally get better if you let your child stay at home
>> show high levels of anxiety
>> make threats to self-harm.

Here are some things you can do:

1. Check for physical causes. If your child is complaining of physical symptoms, have her checked by a physician.

2. Talk with your child.  Talk about what's bothering her, while at the same time making it clear that a plan will be made to return to school. Keep in mind, though, that some children can't describe what is bothering them. Don't force conversation if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. The most important message to convey is this: you believe your child can conquer this problem, and you'll be there to help her through it.

3. Don’t lecture. Avoid lengthy discussions and debates about the importance of going to school. Lecturing won't do any good, and it may actually make matters worse. Any attention, even negative attention, can reinforce and maintain a problem.

4 Keep an open mind. Don't assume the teacher or the school has done something wrong. Similarly, teachers should not assume the problem lies with the parents. When stress levels are high, it's natural to want to point the finger and blame someone, but it doesn't do much to solve the problem. It's important to make sure that any reality-based fears, such as bullying, are addressed and corrected.

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